What Saved Me

Still Available

2011-06-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

I think these paintings are available at the gallery for $450 a piece. Two of them are about listening, one about faith and two about sharing light.
Shilo runs the gallery, which isn't a little job. She's very nice and her artwork is splendid, especially her cork board paintings.

Our Stories

2011-06-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

What I Wish For You

After reading every email I was sent for this project, several times, then considering what I thought were the most important parts of each story and then figuring out how to illustrate those ideas with symbols, I feel a little connection to each of the people who sent the stories. I suppose each of those stories are now connected to my story a little bit, and world seems a smaller and people seem more alike than different.

In the painting above, I wanted to give the story teller something. I wanted to give her something that saved me, so I painted about it. I hope she likes it.

I love it when I get to put faces and families with stories. Some of the stories I've made ExVotos for over the past couple of years were connected without me knowing it. That's pretty cool. .

I get to hear stories that are amazing and inspiring. So thank you again to all of you who shared your stories with me.

2011-06-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

Now that the paintings are finished, I've had a little time to sit with them. Each one is someone's story and packs emotion. As a group, that emotion is multiplied.
.

Nina took some great photos of the paintings. Thanks Nina

I Folded Paper and Waited

2011-06-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

While waiting to adopt our 4th daughter I would fold an origami paper crane each day. Little did I know it would be a 3 year wait! I folded each day, sometimes leaving it in a doctors office, a neighbors mailbox or just collecting on my counter until it was covered in hundreds of colorful cranes.
It became a symbol to me of waiting with joy and patience. There was something so calming in the process of folding that lovely piece of paper and watching it transform into a majestic crane. It gave me great pleasure. The process is what saves us!
There is a red oriental basket sitting by my front door that is full of these cranes. Every Christmas I pull out a garland of them and hang them up and we usually can put them all over a small tree too!
Sometimes my little Ruby will get one out of the basket and say, "you made these while you waited to get me in China!"
I smile and tell her, "yes!"
Perhaps someday in a time of questioning, in a time when she needs saving, she will reflect on these cranes and feel the same peace and joy. They might help her to know how present she was in our family, even before she was born and how much we yearned for and wanted her!

I love not only this mother's love for her baby, but how she developed the symbol of the crane as a physical reminder of a history of emotion, like a painting can do.

Thank you Kristi for letting me post your story!

Done!

2011-06-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

The home stretch is sometimes the toughest with all the little fixes, and details. I ended up working outside due to amount of toxic chemicals I used in finishing-up these paintings; Liquin, Crackle and Damar Varnish. It was lovely to work out in the fresh air with kittens frolicking about. I did have to pick a few bugs and a lot of leaves off of the paintings.

The show opens tomorrow night at Kayo Gallery in SLC. I'm excited to share the show with Dan Barney. I love his pieces and as usual, I want to keep all of them.

Three Small Books

2011-06-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

2011-06-08T19:50:00.000-07:00

The images are designed and the paintings are laid in. Now magical little painting moments start to happen. Some of those moments happen by accident, and some after I stare at the painting until it I see what it needs. I'm doing a lot of staring.

Getting Closer

2011-06-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

Alex left a comment on the post below that says, "twelve more days until this show opens," which threw me into a little frenzy. (Thank you Alex because I needed a push.) Not only do I want to paint the most beautiful paintings for each story, but I have a few ideas of my own I really want to paint.

With luck I'll have everything nearly finished by this weekend. Then at the beginning of next week I'll photograph the images, and send them to everyone who sent me stories.

2011-06-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

Will God or someone else give me the strength to breathe the breath of prayer and mourning into my paintings, the breath of prayer for redemption and resurrection?-Marc Chagall

Painting

2011-05-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of weeks,I've been working on drawings, trying to translate these stories into symbols. Some come easily, I can see it. I started painting a couple of those. I so love to get lost in painting.

Making Meaning

2011-04-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

Let me listen to me and not to them.
-Gertrude Stein

I admire people who make meaning from experience. I admire people who choose learning instead of defeat. I admire people who give credit to others. I so enjoy the act of paying tribute to all of these things.

Water Saves Her

2011-04-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

I just happened to be painting a series of paintings for the Art Access plates show all about water when I got this email from poetic Kate about what saves her...

Water. When the whirlwind of my thoughts sucks me out of my body and into the air, when I am fevered and fire-brained and anxious, when I am lost, I go to the water, and it brings me home. Back into my body. Back to earth. Back to the self that lives each day with gratitude and wonder.

Your Stories

2011-04-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

The stories I have received so far have caught me a little off guard. Maybe it's honesty, vulnerability and depth which people have shared that are in contrast to the interactions in of my everyday life. These stories make me want to look closer at the people around me and to love everyone I meet a little more.
Thank you so much to those of you who have shared. And to those of you who want to...do it.
cassandrabarney@gmail.com

What Saved Me

2011-04-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

I want to use this blog as a space to document a new body of work. I originally posted about this project on my other blog, churningsandburnings.blogspot.com

Invitation for Collaboration

I heard a presentation by Jana Napoli this last week. In her lecture she said something about doing her artwork was what saved her. Dan Barney and I talked about that idea, about what saves us. I could give testimony to how painting saves me. I can't imagine my life without painting. I also thought about knitting. I thought about how when at one time in my life, when my heart was knotted up, I knit with red yarn. As I knit, the rhythm and repetition untangled my heart. Knitting saved me. In the winter when the days are short and grey, I cut paper flowers. Cutting flowers saves me.

I've been thinking about doing a series of exvotos for an upcoming show that Dan and I are having at Kayo Gallery in Salt Lake in June. I want to paint stories about being saved.

ExVoto means 'votive offering.' They are personal stories, hung in public to share and inspire. They are little tin paintings depicting stories, explaining why the giver is giving thanks.

If you have a story about What Saved You, that needs to be painted, send it to me at cassandrabarney@gmail.com preferably by May 6.

My Wing Sailing

2008-05-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

My Wing Sailing

Early in the morning on a chilly May day, a painter, a sculptor and a poet set out to create an artwork. They scanned the beach for inspiration. It was a moody, grey place that filled it's visitors with a quiet, melancholy peace. Each of these artists differed in their medium of expertise and had something unique to offer. They also had something that they shared. It was the way in which all three had learned to explore and share and feel and try to understand through symbols, and more importantly, their desire and passion to do so.

On rain soaked Cannon Beach they found the skeletal remains of a bird. That is where it began. This object had many symbolic associations. A bird is often a symbol of connecting with a higher spirit. Seagulls in particular were believed to carry the souls of dead sailors and were considered an unlucky omen. So if this bird has long since passed, is that omen reversed?

In the process of creating this work the wings were separated, one being sailed into the ocean and one to remain. Was it a plea? Was it about a journey? Was it two parts of a whole? Did it represent the quest for immortality or triumph over death?

We invite you to watch our video and participate in this journey.

My Wing Sailing

The process of creating this artwork was unforgettable. Sometimes when working together, one can make personal discoveries. Thank you Kate Horowitz and Laura Mayer for being people with so much to offer, and so good at sharing it too.

I neglected to include in the credits that Stella, who took time out from her morning stroll on the beach to participate and contribute. Thank you Stella.

The show

2008-05-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

If someone asked me what my dream art show would be I’d probably say…
I’d get to go somewhere really nice, maybe by the ocean. I’d have a friend travel with me to share it. I’d like her to be someone I really enjoy spending time with and maybe even make a movie about collaboration in a restaurant or something. It would be great to be greeted on the street by a local fan directly after arriving in town, remembered. I’d go visit my favorite shops and galleries in that area and be welcomed back into that town by excited, lovely people. I’d spend time with other artists and gallery staff that make me laugh until I cry as well as stimulate my mind with conversation.
I’d be so touch by the stories of collectors of my work that I would have to try really hard not to tear up at the generosity of others. A few friends might travel into town whom I haven’t seen for quite some time and buy me lunch. Maybe I’d get to meet some new interesting people who love art. I think I’d like to get up really early in the morning and make an artwork on the beach with a poet and a sculptor and send it out into the ocean. I’d really like to have lots of people show up to the unveiling of my paintings and laugh at all my jokes and tell me how much they really liked the work. Wouldn’t it be great too if I sold all of the paintings to people who really loved them in a matter of minutes so my head would spin and make me dizzy? Maybe even more that one person might want some of the paintings so there would be a drawing for who got to buy it. That’s just crazy.
I’d like to sign lots of prints and give drawings away. I’d like it if I got some gifts too…why not? Maybe like a really beautiful black coat and some expensive shoes and super cool bag that I’d been eyeing and maybe even a Cannon Beach sweatshirt. I’d be touched if a friend bought me a copy of his favorite book and another friend gave me a pot she threw and painted.
I wouldn’t have to worry about my kittens because I would feel very confident that my partner was taking care of all there was so I could be where I am.
I’d love to go out to eat Ecola Seafood with someone who makes me feel really good and then Mexican food with some people that I’m very fond of giggling with. I’d like to leave feeling really grateful for beautiful people who have given me so much that I’m overflowing with gratitude for life and art. It would be wonderful to get excited about making more artwork. I’d also like to leave with plans to come back and do it again next year.
Maybe it’s just a dream…in verse and rhyme?!

A synopsis of the show, She Dreamed in Verse and Rhyme

2008-05-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Pondering Persephone was the painting I'd struggled over the most. It's a little different than the others in the way it had layer upon layer of glaze. The glazing gives it a rich surface. I like Persephone's pomegranate ring and her pondering gesture. It was worth the struggle.

Coming soon, Survivor Art Girls, Episode 2, Cannon Beach.

This episode has a different flavor than the first one. It's really beautiful. Sculptor Laura Mayer, writer Kate Horowitz and painter Cassandra Barney- a good combo.

It's funny because when I'm with my sister Emily, I really want want to entertain her and make her laugh. I was much more serious with Kate and Lala. Well, kind of serious...ish.

Laura is another amazing person. She's living the dream with her Art Garden in Ephrada Washington. She teaches and creates artwork in her own little shop. I'm proud of my friend.

2008-05-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

So this is how I remember it. All of the artworks were covered up until the unveiling.

People came in and out, asking questions, telling stories. Reed introduced me and suddenly it seemed like there were a lot more people there.

2008-05-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

I talked about the artwork then I was signing and then...

I looked over at a blank wall. It was pretty amazing that it all happened so fast. I was sorry that some people didn't get to see the paintings that were taken away quickly. I was also sad that there were several people who didn't get to buy the paintings that they wanted. I'd say I'll paint more for next year but...right! I'll see.

2008-05-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

At Collectors Gallery in Cannon Beach, I occationally do a little embellishing on the prints. I don't mind because I'm usually there a little longer than at most gallery shows.

It's a nice way to spend a little more time visiting with the collectors.

2008-05-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

Purple Moon is one of my two favorite stores in Cannon Beach. The owner of the store Abbas Atwc is generous, among other good qualities. He's a believer in karma. No doubt all of the good he gives out comes back to him in great amounts.

Abbas is also a painter. That's his super cool flower painting behind me. That coat that I'm wearing was a gift from him along with some very fancy shoes. His wife is as cute as he is. These are the kind of people I meet in Cannon Beach. Kate said it best when she was describing her impression of it all, she said that everyone there seemed to be quietly grateful for all of it.

Thanks Abbas.

Heather Christie played during the party that night. She has a beautiful voice.

2008-05-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

My very favorite part of these art shows is not the check in my pocket, it's the people I meet. I left Cannon Beach all filled up with love and gratitude. Same time next year....I'll be back.

Episode 6

2008-05-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

In an almost empty restaurant in Cannon Beach, Kate and I filmed a short video discussing our collaboration. I try to keep these practically professional videos short so I had to cut out a lot of good stuff. I really think that collaboration is important so that artwork doesn't become stagnant or the same. When I work with someone else I not only push myself but there is an energy there that is exciting. I know that at our unveiling, when Kate read a few of her poems, our audience participated in that energy too. So really it was a collaboration on many levels.

Episode 6, Discussing Collaboration

I trust my work. It's a collaboration with the material, and when it's viewed, it's a collaboration with the world.
-Kiki Smith

Unveiling

2008-05-03T00:03:00.000-07:00

The unveiling of the paintings is tomorrow but some people really just can't even stand it. Luckily I have a few other paintings there to talk about until the grand moment when I pull off with black drapes to reveal my masterpieces.

Rod Fredrick started off the party tonight unveiling his latest work. He's quite a guy and good to have at parties.

It's show time...

2008-04-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Incumbent

Click here to see last year's blog entry about Collector's Gallery at Cannon Beach. I'm excited. All of my work for this show is now out if my hands and it's time to exhale and enjoy. I'm looking forward to starting my next body of work.

2008-04-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

...a picture so you'll recognize me and Kate Horowitz.

2008-04-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Together They Could Do So Much

Show Information:
She Dreamed in Verse and Rhyme

May 2...I should be in the gallery most of the day.

There will be an unveiling for Rod Fredrick at 6:00 p.m. that night then a big Luau.

Rod is really funny so it should be quite a party.
Saturday, May 3, I will unveil my paintings and talk about them at 2:00 p.m.
I'm going to give away my drawing Thistle at the show...I just decided.

They usually do a drawing for a print as well.

Then, of course, there will be an other party in the gallery with lots of dessert.

Collectors Gallery
224 N HemlockSuite 1
Cannon Beach, OR
800-289-1819

It's nearly show time. All of the paintings have been titled, framed, photographed and shipped...except one. It remains to be seen if it will be dry in time. I also want to put together one more movie about the collaboration and maybe another about the opening. I'm really excited because Kate Horowitz and her writings will be at the show. So come and meet her as well.
Cheers and I'm excited!
Cassandra

Pomegranate Seeds

2008-04-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

I've been reading about Persephone. The gist of the story goes...

Hades falls in love with Persephone and steals her. Zeus orders Hades to give her back but she ate these pomegranate seeds which tie her to the underworld. They work out a deal where Persephone can spend half her time in the under world and half her time in the world above.

Early summer last year I wrote about how it felt, the sun, putting the red back into my blood. How summer brings rest from different things, but not a rest from feeling. I thought about how in the dead months of winter, my body is buried under sweaters and blankets. My blood moves thick and slow and what I feel is muffled. I think I'm glad for that rest season, that rest from myself, that rest from feeling. I'm as unsure as the weather in the Spring, back and forth, not quite sure if I'm ready. I'm hesitant.

My last painting to finish, the one I'm going to unveil a the show is inspired by a poem that Kate Horowitz wrote.

"Before you go," he said, "Eat these."

His palm was rough, black with soot,

and three rubies glittered there, perfect drops

of blood.

He would not meet my round eyes.

I assumed grief and accepted his gift; the hot winds

of deceit had never known my petaled face.

The earth opened above us,

and a golden arm came through

to draw me up.

I closed my mouth, bit down

and felt all my convictions

running down my throat.

I swallowed.

In my painting, I'm interested in the space of time after all of that interaction took place. Maybe Persephone loved Hades, maybe she found rest in the dark underworld. Maybe sometimes she was hesitant to go back to the beautiful world above.

Works in Progress

2008-04-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

Episode #5 features a little more dancing. Click here to watch it on Youtube.

Dreams

2008-04-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.
Emily Bronte

Episode #4

2008-03-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

2008-03-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

I dream my paintings, then I paint my dreams. Vincent van Gogh

Wet Paint

2008-03-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

I got back to work today after an extended weekend in Arizona. Toward the end of our visit, after talk'n art smack for hours and doing some drawing and thinking...I was dieing to get back to my studio and get working. Time is short, only three weeks of actual painting time left for this show. I wish time could be suspended in the studio. That would be so great. I could explore more of my ideas without feeling rushed, painting until I was actually tired of it.
I know, I know...I should be grateful that I get to paint at all. I am grateful, it's just that I don't feel like I get my fill. It's challenging to get so involved in art making and then try to jump into back into real life...no matter how good real life is.

I awoke and yet continued to dream. Max Beckmann

Video from the Greenwich Workshop

2008-03-20T16:40:00.000-07:00

This past all I worked was filmed talking about the four artworks I painted before they had actually become prints. That video is now available via youtube.

Cannon Beach

2008-03-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

She Dreamed in Verse and Rhyme

this is an official invitation
to all
to come to Cannon Beach
May 2,3,4
and see these paintings
in real life
and...

go looking for slugs after it rains
and pick them up with a stick
and put them in a big pile

and then maybe Don
who owns Ernst and Ernst Collectors Gallery
will take us to the arcade
where we can play wack-a-mole
and spent fifty dollars
to get enough tickets to buy a stuffed animal

and then maybe we can have a party on the beach
and roast hot dogs and stuff.
Fun! Seriously, Cannon Beach is a nice place
and everybody is invited.

Flowers

2008-03-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Poppy, a magical flower representing life over death, light and darkness. Camellia, delicate and elegant, it is a symbol of transience of life. Stock, everlasting beauty, it is a symbol of a happy life. Violets represent humility, modesty and innocence.

Episode:3

2008-03-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

Early Sketches for Apron Painting

2008-03-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

2008-03-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

The ideas for the three paintings on the third episode all come from different places. The idea for the apron painting was conceived from an idea that I've been thinking about for a long time. I drew several drawings in my sketchbook, worked out the symbolism and had some lovely models pose for reference. The painting of the women in procession was started the morning after I'd dreamed about it. It's a nice idea, bringing all those gifts. The painting of the single figure came from another place.
I had intended that morning to work on something completely different. I started painting and it just sort of happened. I came from more of a feeling that I was having rather than something premeditated. I'm undecided as to if I should clothe the figure or not. I also am undecided on titles for any of these paintings as of yet.
As far as this third episode goes, I'm getting faster at making them but I still haven't figured out the sound. I know that the music is louder than the talking. I also can't figure out how to make myself look younger?!

Episode:2 Aprons

2008-03-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

I'm exited about how this apron painting is progressing. I'm not sure what to title it yet.

It's interesting to watch painting in stop motion. I look like I'm getting a good workout, wiggling around like I've got ants in my pants. Actually, after working for several hours in a row like that, I stand up and feel like an old woman. That's why I have to hit the asphalt on my big wheel.

In working on a series of paintings, this part is my favorite and the most challenging. It's hard to decide which paintings to paint. I'd like to work through every idea in my sketchbook, but alas I do need to sleep and all of that business.

Thanks for watching. I can't help but use a few bonus special effects. In learning to make these videos I happen upon a lot of it by accident. It's a fun medium to play around with.

Cheers!

Episode:1

2008-03-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

This is very exciting. Last fall, my publisher Scott Usher of the Greenwich Workshop was talking to me in my studio and he said something like, "you really should do some video from your studio and share what you're working on." Those weren't his exact words but something like that. I like to learn and try new things so I've been playing around Movie Maker. It's obvious I'm a beginner because I like to use lots of special effects.

I'll talk more about the content of paintings as I go. These videos are also available on youtube.

I'm going to try to post weekly as I create this body of work for my show at Ernst Collectors Gallery in Cannon Beach, Oregon. I'll be there the first week in May.

Enjoy and feel free to comment.